Difference Can Be Grand
by Christine Petrik & David Green
Beauty really is in the eye of the beholder, and that perspective can be a conscious choice. No, we're not referring to our mates' physical attributes but instead, to their beauty within. If you've been following us, or attended one of our relationship workshops, you may have heard David or me mention that we cringe when folks advise others to marry someone with lots of similar interests or parallel views on, well, just about everything. Don't listen to that! The Greek God Narcissus lived out a life of hell by falling in love with someone just like himself. Ok, it was actually himself, but you get our meaning.
Now, we're not advocating you deliberately seek out someone with drastically different views on important things, like values. Absolutely not! Strategizing who you should fall in love with can be a dangerous game. Let chemistry take its course. Yup, we said it. Nature can be a great assistant. More on all this another time.
What we are saying is, having a life partner from a different background, with different interests, and/or personality traits has many advantages.
Here are three of the most significant reasons why 'different' can be grand:
You gain new perspectives. Having a partner with a different outlook on life exposes you to new ideas and ways of thinking. This increased view of things can broaden your perspective on - anything.
Your empathy for others increases. When your life partner is different from you, you develop and strengthen your understanding and appreciation of other people's perspectives. Empathy enhances and improves when compassion for others is present. Kindness flows out of connected knowing.
Your weaknesses get stronger. When you and your partner experience your differences as complementary vs. opposite, you both win. Their strengths help strengthen your weaknesses, and vice versa. You can support each other while learning from each other’s strengths. Your complimentary parts create a more balanced relationship where both partners feel appreciated and valued.
Remember, the benefits are only attained when both partners become curious about their differences and stay open to learning and growing from one another. Being in a happy and healthy relationship requires attention and care.